NEVER EVER DRINK WHAT’S IN THE CUP… IT’S A TRAP AND YOU WILL BE DRUNK!
do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals
BECAUSE WOMEN ARE TOLD THRY HAVE TO LOOK GOOD ALL THE TIME. NO ONE TOLD GUYS THEY HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT.
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it
There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it.
yes, mr. action hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.
And for the love of all things holy, can you please stop magically coming back to life when someone performs cpr. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!
Mum: Why does it say Captain Am?
Me: It’s just because they couldn’t fit Captain America on the display.
Mum: I thought we were watching the Winter Soldier?